Emily Scheff

Professor Jesse Miller

English 110

27 September 2024

Technology Turmoil

They say that having face to face conversations fosters some of the strongest relationships, and that technology can get in the way of them. I say, technology isn’t the only factor contributing to this issue., Wwhat it truly comes down to is how people are using their technology. Some of my closest relationships are with people who do not live in the United States, let alone the same continent. Due to the power of modern day technology, I am able to maintain extremely close relationships with people as far as on the other side of the world. This makes my stance on the topic not as clear-cut as Sherry Turkle’s, who has written about the intersection of technology and conversation in her work “The Empathy Diaries”. 

People say to focus on the positives, not the negatives, and Turkle addresses that in regards to technology. 

“We like to hear these positive stories because they do not discourage us in our pursuit of the new —our new comforts, our new distractions,our new forms of commerce. And we like to hear them because if these are the only stories that matter, then we don’t have to attend to other feelings that persist —that we are somehow more lonely than before, that our children are less empathic than they should be for their age, and that it seems nearly impossible to have an uninterrupted conversation at a family dinner.” (Turkle 349).

However, not everything is so black and white;, technology evolving isn’t just positive or negative. It is the actual use of technology that makes up the gray area. The fact that two things can be true at once is what creates the in-between area in terms of technology usage. 

Turkle suggests that people tend to be more vulnerable and have true conversations when speaking face to face. “Yet these are the conversations where empathy and intimacy flourish and social action gains strength.” (Turkle 344). Although this might be the case for some people, not everyone is in a place to be vulnerable and to have those deep and intimate conversations. Some people struggle with maintaining eye contact during conversations and technology can be used as a way to bridge the gap between engaging and contributing to those conversations and those who are still working on getting the courage to incorporate themselves into a face to face setting. When taking away or lessening the stressful parts of conversations, like eye contact, it can have the opposite effect of what Turkle describes., Iit can allow them to participate more in conversations and. This also creates the opportunity for people to grow and get more comfortable social settings.

Contrary to Turkle’s beliefs, technology can be a reliable tool for relationships, especially ones that are long distance. According to Turkle, technology creates a divide between us and the people that we care about. “Among family and friends, among colleagues and lovers, we turn to our phones instead of each other.” (Turkle 343). For some people, they have no choice but to turn to their devices to have conversations with their family and friends, as there is physical distance between them. While we still turn to our phones as Turkle said, sometimes the reasoning behind it is because that is the only communication method that is efficient and available. The 2020 Covid-19 pandemic is a good example. W, when we were uncertain how dangerous it was and were scared of getting sick, we used technology to stay in touch with our friends and family.

Despite the fact that my opinions thus far have not totally aligned with Turkle’s, it doesn’t mean there aren’t a few things we could agree on. True conversation doesn’t need to be face to face, however, sometimes it makes a conversation even more special. Talking with loved ones and people you care about while being with them in person is a gift. It is also something that gets taken for granted. Having even the most basic of conversations is such a mundane part of most people’s lives, that they do not stop and cherish them. There is a common phrase: that “you don’t realize what you haved until it’s goneit is gone”. That saying applies to conversations both face to face and through technology, as well. Conversations give you the opportunity to say the things you do not want left unsaid, show how much you value the person and create memories that will last a lifetime. Time goes by in the blink of an eye, and no future conversations are guaranteed. Cherish every one as if they are the last you will have, because looking up to the sky and talking is not the same as a real conversation and hearing them speak back to you. Taking advantage of the conversations you have left can end up being a blessing in disguise. 

All this to say, it is the ways in which one uses technology which plays a role in whether face to face conversation is going to die out or not. It is a personal preference, not an all or nothing situation. Each person is given the opportunity to make technology a tool that enhances their life, it is just a matter of what they choose to do. To me, there is no definitive answer, no matter which side you pick, you are still missing out on certain aspects that make the other method unique. My stance on the connection between technology and conversation remains complicated.